Exclusive Report: Scientists Claim Earth is Actually Cubic, Not Spherical!
Exclusive Report: Scientists Claim Earth is Actually Cubic, Not Spherical!
In a revelation that has left the scientific community reeling and conspiracy theorists gleefully rubbing their hands, a group of researchers has boldly declared that the Earth is not the spherical marvel we’ve been led to believe—it’s actually a colossal cube!
In a press conference that seemed more suited to a surrealist comedy sketch than a serious scientific discourse, Dr. Squarepants McJokester, lead researcher of the newly formed “Cubists for Truth” organization, presented their groundbreaking findings with a straight face and a twinkle in their eye.
According to Dr. McJokester, years of painstaking analysis, fueled by copious amounts of caffeine and an unhealthy obsession with Minecraft, led their team to conclude that the Earth’s supposed curvature is merely an optical illusion perpetuated by centuries of misguided belief in “round Earth propaganda.”
“We’ve been living in a giant Rubik’s Cube all along!” exclaimed Dr. McJokester, brandishing a cardboard model of the Earth adorned with colorful stickers and flashing lights. “Think about it: corners, edges, right angles—what more proof do you need? It’s all right there in front of us, hidden in plain sight!”
The announcement sent shockwaves through the scientific community, prompting heated debates and frantic Google searches for geometry textbooks buried in dusty attics. While some experts dismissed the claims as a colossal joke gone awry, others couldn’t resist the temptation to indulge in a bit of speculative fun.
Social media platforms exploded with memes and mock “cube Earth” merchandise, with enterprising entrepreneurs rushing to cash in on the latest craze. Flat Earthers, caught in a perplexing existential crisis, found themselves torn between clinging to their cherished beliefs and embracing the tantalizing allure of a new geometric paradigm.
As the dust settles on this bewildering revelation, one thing remains abundantly clear: whether the Earth is round, flat, or cuboid, humanity’s insatiable curiosity and irrepressible sense of humor will continue to drive us to explore the furthest reaches of scientific absurdity and beyond. So, grab your protractors and prepare for a wild ride through the wacky world of shape-shifting planets—because in this topsy-turvy universe, anything is possible, even if it’s a little… square.
